Classic, Elegant Entertaining by Stephanie Booth Shafran

Story by Lyda Kay Ferree, The Southern Lifestyles Lady. Photography © Rizzoli New York, The Ingalls.

Everyone dreams of hosting unforgettable soirees: the kind where candles and a fireplace create the perfect ambience, delicious canapes are passed, Champagne glasses clink, and the sound of laughter fills the air. In her first book: You’re Invited: Classic, Elegant Entertaining, Los Angeles-based hostess extraordinaire Stephanie Booth Shafran shares her secrets for perfect parties and takes the art of entertaining to new heights. From the table settings to the décor to the color-coordinated menus, every party she hosts showcases a myriad of inspired elements.

Chapter by chapter, Shafran shows readers how to set the stage for eight parties, from an elegant housewarming in her Jeffrey Bilhuber-decorated home to a classic California pool party, to a festive Christmas brunch. She also shares advice on palette creation—blue and white for a ladies’ charity luncheon, and deep burgundies for a gentlemen’s wine and cigar party.

Each chapter ends with tips for that theme, whether it is entertaining alfresco or having parties for a charitable purpose. Shafran also includes a guide to her party essentials: inspiration, invitations, flowers, tablescapes, linens, seating, the bar, and select recipes—including cocktails—and helpful guidelines for assembling unique cheese and charcuterie platters.

Named one of The Salonniere’s “100 Best Party Hosts in the United States,” Safran will teach you everything you need to know about planning and throwing brilliantly executed festivities and gatherings at home. A fifth-generation Angeleno, Shafran and her family divide their time between Los Angeles, New York City, and Sun Valley, Idaho.

VIP: What makes a party magical and memorable?

Stephanie Shafran: That’s a wonderful question! I really think in the beginning it’s about creating a beautiful setting as the magic unfolds. When you have that setting—you’re arranging the flowers, selecting the china ahead of time and so on, you’re creating a setting for the friendship unfolding.

Do everything ahead of time and be prepared. When your guests arrive, you let go, you have a cocktail, and you greet them so they feel really good the minute they walk in the door. If the hostess is relaxed and laughing and happy and meeting all of her guests, the guests will relax. The magic starts the minute the guests walk in the door. There are flowers, candles and a tray of cocktails offered by waiters who greet the guests as well. I think of it as a play in three acts. The first act: cocktails; second act: dinner; and the third act: after-dinner cocktails.

I like to serve one signature drink depending upon the season and the scene and the occasion. Often I will have the signature drink, a glass of white wine and a glass of mineral water on a tray, and I also offer a full bar.

VIP: Share a few of your favorite entertaining tips.

SS: First, get the invitations out, select the flowers and the caterers and so on. Then, I go into the details of the party, and I capitalize on that.

A theme is really important, and the inspiration for a party. Take that as your foundation and go from there. I build from there on the flowers, the color and the time of the year. Is it somebody’s birthday? Is it a cocktail party, an outside party? No detail is too small. If it’s a summer party, like a cocktail hour, you serve foods that fit the theme of the party.

We just did a summer dinner party in Sun Valley, Idaho this weekend. I capitalized on our garden and the outdoors and the colors of summer. We did a summer drink and lots of fresh fruit at the bar. It was warm weather, so the ladies were in floral dresses and sandals. Every detail from the tabletops to the fresh food purchased at a local summer market to the fashion of the party complements the theme.

VIP: These are such unusual times in which we are living. How has the COVID-19 pandemic impacted the world of entertaining and what are the ground rules?

SS: That certainly is a relevant question. Right now people are unable to do a very large wedding or birthday celebration. I think dinner parties of 6 or 8 are what people are doing. Outdoors becomes really important. Friendships are deepening as more and more intimate groups are entertaining at home. With summer we can be outside.

I’ll share a fun story with you. Three girlfriends hosted a birthday luncheon this past weekend. The party favor at each lady’s plate was a custom mask. The hostesses took images from my book, and everyone had a different mask made of photos from my book (By the way, Oscar de la Renta partnered with me on my book cover, a custom edition of my book and a custom box for the book.) One mask had china on it, one had florals on it, one had a picture of the invitation on it, and one had a picture of me. It was so timely and so clever!

VIP: Why is a party theme important?

SS: It creates the foundation and a purpose for the party. It becomes the inspiration for the party. Themes may vary according to the time of the year, the occasion, and the purpose. Once you have a theme established you can take off from there. In my office in Los Angeles I have a bulletin board with Pinterest inspiration, and I pin up all these pictures and have 20 ideas. Then I pull from there and make a really cohesive plan for a party. I often use color for a theme. I am completely inspired by color, fabric and jewelry, architecture and design. I am inspired by the world around me. My husband and I love to travel.

VIP: Describe your favorite party to host and why, and what is your favorite party to attend and why.

SS: I grew up in a very traditional formal family, so I tend to be more formal than others. A party of 12-20 is my very favorite party to host. You can have license to create a gorgeous table depending upon the time of the year and/or if the party is indoors or outdoors. I often seat someone on one side that the guest knows and on the other side someone they do not know so they are making new connections and expanding their world. It makes for more interesting conversation. I like to have cocktails standing for one hour and then sit down. It’s hard to have a long three hours of standing at a party.

I love your question about my favorite party to attend and my most unique party. One of my favorite parties I ever attended was last summer. It was a weekend in Seattle at the home of Jennifer and John Nordstrom for their 50th birthday as well as their 25th anniversary celebration. The first night they hosted an intimate outdoor cocktail buffet overlooking beautiful Lake Washington. Then the next night it was a black tie party at a very famous restaurant in Seattle called Canlis. It was really fun mixing styles.

VIP: When hosting a party, do you have a checklist to keep you organized and well prepared as a hostess?

SS: Yes, I do. I am very organized. I think the more organized you are and the more you can do in advance, the better hostess you are and the more you can enjoy your own party. You have this checklist of the majors: get the invitation out, book the caterer, and call rental companies after you go through your own china and linens. I try to use as much as I can of what I own. I inherited china from my grandmother and mother, both modern and the classics that I have collected over 20-30 years.

The day of the party I like everything ready an hour ahead of time. Then I do a walkthrough everywhere in our house, and I envision what it is like for our guests to walk in. I go into the entry and I look at the flowers and the candles to see if they are lit. Then I walk through where we will be having cocktails. What about the flowers and cocktail glasses? I double check the linens on the table. Then I do a mental walkthrough and go to the table and check everything there as well as check the powder room.

VIP: What makes a party unique? I love the quote in your book that parties aren’t about perfection but joy. How does a host or hostess create joy at a social function? It seems to me that it is a combination of components from the theme to the music to the food to attention to detail.

SS: I think a party has to be an extension of the host or hostess. Fifty percent of the event is creating the party, and fifty percent is about the connections, the family and friends. I get inspiration from the world around me, but I also stay true to my style. For me to create things that I love brings me so much joy…. It is really important to be authentic to yourself. A party is an extension of yourself. You are giving a gift to your friends. Everyone’s home is an extension of who they are and how they live and what they have collected over the years.

VIP: What is the most unique party you have hosted?

SS: My 50th birthday. We travel a lot. We brought in Bagatelle, a small band, to our garden in Los Angeles and completely transported our guests. It was the first time Bagatelle had ever done this at a private home. We had dancers, champagne, a DJ and the blue and white colors of St. Tropez. It was really fun and unique.

VIP: The Pucci and the Pool Party is a super summer party theme in your book. I love the color palette and summertime picnic fare. (See recipes for Watermelon and Orange Ice Refreshers and Prosciutto Salad.)

SS: Last August I plotted an afternoon pool and pizza party for our daughters and friends for a bit of unbridled fun. My obsession with Pucci—an Italian brand founded by Florentine noble Emilio Pucci in 1947, and famous for its undulating Technicolor prints—began two decades ago when I purchased a Pucci cover-up while on vacation at a beach resort in Italy.

VIP: What do you enjoy about planning a party? In your book you say that it is “part of the fun of entertaining.” Talk about the importance of color palettes.

SS: I see the world in colors, so color palettes are incredibly important. As a creative person I’m always gathering information from the world around me wherever I am—my home, my fashion, my jewelry, my fabric. Everything inspires me for a party. I love the process. Friendships are equally important. That is what it’s about at the end of the day. The spirit of entertaining and enjoying our friends is more important than ever before, and everyone is slowing down a bit. People are becoming more connected to their community and their friends.